Thursday, April 22, 2010

8 Days Left ~ I've Gone All "Reality Show"

Okay.  Here we go.  Are you ready?  The time has come for the final cut. Cue your favorite reality show elimination music.  Which.  Appliance.  Will make it to the 5th wheel? (Click on the appliance links to read the behind-the-scenes love story for each one.  It just makes this even more gut-wrenching.)

It's been a couple weeks of rough scrutinizing, measuring, and agonizing over making the right decision...  I am ready now. Pause for three minutes.

Kitchen Aid Mixer.  You have been with me all ten-and-a-half years of marriage.  I grew up using your mustard yellow ancestor with my mom.  You've helped me make countless loaves of breads, layers of cakes, and batches of cookies.  BUT... You are very bulky.  I have decided (another 3-minute pause)... To find a space for you in the trailer!

Vita-Mix.  I've longed for you for years.  I finally attained you and live in happy blended bliss every day since I brought you home.  BUT... You are very tall.  I have decided.............  To find a space for you in the trailer!

Cast Ironware.  You are not appliances.  But I love you anyway.  You are a healthy, clean choice to cook with, and you keep my arm muscles strong.  BUT... You take up a lot of room and could damage the flimsy trailer drawers.  I have decided......................  To also find a place for you in the trailer!  But one of the dutch ovens and the muffin pan must be placed in storage.  I am sorry.  I will miss you so.

Coffee Roaster.  We met only this year.  You roast me delicious fresh coffee beans and provide my daily revival in a cup.  BUT... You are new to my kitchen and I survived without you all but four months of my life.  I have decided............................................  To find a place for you in the trailer!  You are small and I have 20 pounds of green coffee beans that aren't going to roast themselves...

Dehydrator.  You are a flimsy imitation of the Excalibur that I want, but you have faithfully allowed me to use you at least once a month for three years.  BUT...  You are falling apart and extremely demanding of space, so I have decided..................................................  To store you some place easily accessible.  I am sorry.  I will miss seeing your flimsy, round self in my luxurious Lazy Susan cabinet in the kitchen I must also say goodbye to. Wiping tears away.

Food processor.  You have also been with me for all of my marriage and I grew up using one of your more bulky ancestors.  You chop, puree, grate, and slice in a matter of seconds, saving me hours of time over the years.  BUT...  Space is getting really limited.  I have decided........................................................  To also find a space for you in the trailer!

WonderMill.  You have ground hundreds of pounds of spelt, kamut, buckwheat, corn, rice, beans, and tapioca; eight cups of flour in one minute flat.  You have served me without a hick-up for four years.  BUT...  You are my most massive appliance.  I have decided............................................................................  To find a space for you in the trailer, as well!

What?  All but one and a half of them made the cut?  Where will I find the room for them all?  I don't know.  But it will happen, alright?  What you don't know is I have packed away the toaster, coffee maker (I have a single-cup French press in it's place), mandolin slicer, and electronic citrus juicer.  So there.  But I will prove to you that I found room for them with photographed documentation that will most likely be posted after the move when I give you the grand tour of our new digs.

Well, that was a nice 20-minute breather.  Back to packingcleaningfeedingcleaningpackingschoolingpacking.  The adventure continues...

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