This little home of ours has undergone several changes since we became it's owners nearly three years ago. In the beginning, it wasn't even a Christmas Cabin at all. It was a very little, very shabby, forgotten blue shack. Then we painted it and it received it's new name.
This little home was three times bigger than the trailer we had just lived in for almost a year, and didn't shake when we walked about. It was a real upgrade, I tell you. It's meager size and neglect gave us the opportunity to afford a property we had a vision for. It needed lots of love before it could become what we imagined it to be, which would cost some money. So we saved up in a cozy little cabin of almost 1,000 square feet.
There were many precious moments inside those tiny walls. We even became a family of seven right in Jeremy's and my bedroom. Becoming a larger family really changed things. It was amazing what adding just one more little person could do to the feel of this home. We were suddenly way over capacity and we (especially the two oldest children) could hardly handle it. They knew no one who lived in such a small space with so many people and it became embarrassing to have friends over. I had to admit that I struggled with the same feelings, even though I strongly believed in what we were doing.
Two and a half years later, the time had finally come. The Christmas Cabin was ready for a growth spurt. Walls were about to go down, and then new ones would go up. Longer ones. Higher ones. Before temporarily moving out, we decided to have some fun with the old walls. Everyone grabbed markers and we did what we were never allowed to do. We colored on those walls. The only rule was that we wrote just good things. Memories, blessings, thankfulness, names of loved ones. It was a special moment that kept our hearts in alignment and our attitude in a place of thankfulness for the past and what was to come.
We often bring friends who have been with us on this journey over to the house to experience the change with us. Below, the new foundation was just being measured out.
And then, it became real. There was no turning back. Our home was being forever changed, and it was very exposed. I had to navigate through waves of unease. We could not move back in to what it was now. We were (are), for a time, without a home to live in. It was like getting strapped into a roller coaster just as it blasted off.
The cement was poured, electrical and plumbing lines were being trenched, and it still didn't feel real to me. I was having a hard time not having a place of my own to live life and let down in. As ungrateful as that sounds, I really wasn't ungrateful though. Just unsettled. Still very thankful, but it was all so massive and such a huge change that it was a lot for this homemaker to sort out.
Then this happened.
And it began to feel more real...